


All Hearts Come Home

by Cara252



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, except he isn't dead, no beta we die like Glenn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:01:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21876325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cara252/pseuds/Cara252
Summary: For some Star's Departure is a holiday meant to be celebrated with family and friends alike, a night meant to spend relishing in joy and laughter. For Dimitri it is none of that, not since the death of his parents. For him it is a mentally challenging time of the year and not always a cheerful one.Claude strives to take some of the baggage from his shoulders.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Edelgard von Hresvelg, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Claude von Riegan
Comments: 19
Kudos: 152





	All Hearts Come Home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cerikino](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cerikino/gifts).



> Main focus is Dimiclaude with some Dimitri & Edelgard sibling relationship sprinkled on top and a bit of Edelgard being very gay for Dorothea. Other less important relationships include Sylvain/Felix, Marianne/Hilda and a few more.
> 
> Also a small warning for consistent mentions of mental health problems and unhealthy coping mechanisms.
> 
> If you notice any major mistakes, that's probably because half of this was written in the dead of night because I have zero self-control, thanks for asking. I can already tell that I will regret this in the morning.
> 
> Merry - belated - Christmas, ma ceri.

It’s four weeks before Fódlan’s winter holiday. 

The inked tip of Claude’s pen scratches across the smooth texture of a page from his notepad as he scribbles his plan for this week’s essay. He glances at the notes on his laptop which he jotted down over the last few days, deriving from various books and lectures at his university alike.

The ragdoll curled up on his lap called Aymr complains when he lifts his hand from her soft fur to scroll down a page on his laptop. Out of the corner of his eye Claude spots Gouda’s - a golden retriever and one of Dimitri’s two psychiatric service dogs - ear twitch at the small noise. 

Nonetheless, he does not move from his spot, and stays firmly pressed against Areadbhar - Dimitri’s second service dog; a rare, black coated golden retriever - on their dog pillow. Areadbhar slumbers peacefully beside him.

Claude turns his attention back to the task at hand.

Except, he suddenly finds it difficult to concentrate in the utter silence of his apartment. He switches tabs from his notes to his music player, and it takes him a second to find his jazz playlist specifically designed for long study sessions. Once it is running, he turns the volume down to a faint hum.

He takes a sip from his latte. It’s still a bit hot, but it has cooled enough in the last few minutes that he can safely drink it without burning his tongue. The sweet vanilla syrup Lysithea recommended him blends nicely with the bitterness of the espresso. He will have to thank her later.

However, he abruptly realises his tiny mistake. 

This isn’t his apartment, he corrects himself. It belongs to Dimitri and his step-sister Edelgard, but at this point one could say that he has more or less moved in with them. Once he and Dimitri became official, he began spending more and more time at their apartment than at the house of his grandparents, who were accommodating his stay in Fódlan.

He preferred to stay with Dimitri for several reasons. On the one hand, their apartment was located closer to university. He had to take the bus for more than 30 minutes if he slept at his grandparents’ house. Meanwhile, he could walk from Dimitri’s apartment to university in less time than that.

On the other hand, Claude had desires like any other person. One of those desires included sleeping in the same bed as his boyfriend and Dimitri’s king-sized bed was simply perfect for that purpose. It was nothing like the small one in his guest room, clearly meant for one.

Don’t get him wrong. Claude appreciates all that his grandparents do for him. They try their very best to make his stay as comfortable as possible, bless their hearts. But there is a limit to everything. And his guest room, which shares a wall with his grandparents’ bedroom, doesn’t provide a young adult such as him with nearly enough privacy.

Thus, the days he would spend at Dimitri and Edelgard’s apartment gradually increased with each week. Claude considered it normal at the time. He still spent a considerable amount of time with his grandparents. The few spare clothes he stored in Dimitri’s closet weren’t anything out of the ordinary.

Until they were.

Claude still remembers staring at the shelves, which he vividly recalled being blank only a few weeks before, for a good full minute one late morning. To his surprise, they were completely stacked with his clothes from top to bottom. It only grew worse when he took a look around the apartment. His stuff was literally everywhere.

Edelgard was the only one home at the time. After going through a short crisis in his - in Dimitri’s bedroom, he approached her as she worked on her assignments at the kitchen table. He asked her, as discreetly as he possibly could, if she minded if he ever moved in with them.

Her response was a sarcastic remark, emphasised by the flat look she passed him. “You do not live here already?” At the moment, Claude felt both validated and embarrassed. Those emotions only grew in strength when Edelgard failed to suppress the smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

On legal terms Claude still lives with his grandparents, but the truth is very straightforward; Dimitri is his home now.

The familiar sensation of his cheeks catching fire gets a chuckle out of him, and he doesn’t need a mirror to know that his face just became a color to rival the crimson of Edelgard’s favourite coat. Not only has Dimitri stolen his heart, but he infected Claude with his embarrassing romanticism as well.

The sound of the front door unlocking and swinging open pulls Claude’s attention from his thoughts, and ultimately from the essay he has strayed from. He doesn’t need to look to know who it is, but he does it anyway.

Just as Claude suspected, it’s Dimitri who steps into the short entry hallway of the apartment. Somehow it’s only only fitting that the culprit for his embarrassment would arrive at such an inopportune time.

Gouda has no such worries, and gracefully stands from the pillow, waking up Areadbhar in the process. Dimitri barely manages to close the door behind him before Gouda trots over to greet him, silently wagging his tail as Dimitri bends down to pet him.

Areadbhar is not so hasty. He takes his time to stretch once he’s on all four, and slowly walks towards Dimitri without a care in the world. Aymr, for her part, does nothing but lift her head to observe the situation with calm eyes.

It surprises Claude when Dimitri buries his face in Areadbhar’s fur with a heavy sigh, and he suddenly realises that Dimitri must be unaware of Claude’s presence in the room, because he would never show his distress as transparently otherwise.

Claude usually prefers the solace of Dimitri’s room when he is home alone, and the deadlines of his papers dangerously fast approaching. Today is an exception, and he sits at the dining table which is situated between the kitchen and living area instead. 

The position grants Claude an advantageous angle on the front door, in which he may see anyone enter but won’t be in their direct line of sight himself. Claude despises it if he cannot observe the entire room and all of its entry points. 

It’s become a necessity, a security mechanism he developed after a series of failed attempts on his life over the last years before his parents sent him to Fódlan. Claude figures it’s a consequence of his trauma that he won’t be shaking off any time soon.

Despite all that, Dimitri should have taken notice of his presence by now. In fact, he should have the moment he entered, because even if he didn’t see Claude himself, he should have heard Claude’s music. Perhaps it’s a tad quiet, but it certainly isn’t too quiet for Dimitri to hear at this distance.

Claude isn’t unfamiliar with the extent of Dimitri’s mental illness. Quite the opposite, actually. He has experienced first hand how self-destructive Dimitri’s behaviour can be at the best of times, how terribly loud the voices in his head can become at the worst.

Claude worries. He worries about how loud those voices must be right now for Dimitri to fail to hear the music playing in his apartment which hints towards Claude’s presence in the room, for him to hold onto Areadbhar like a lifeline, only because he thinks that he isn’t being observed.

There is one easy way to find out.

“Morning, Mitya,” Claude says with the same smooth voice he usually greets Dimitri with, and puts on a genuine smile which he hopes won’t give his concerns away. Dimitri hates to push his burdens on others, and if Claude appears to be upset, it will only make the situation worse.

To Claude’s surprise, Dimitri instantly lifts his head from Areadbhar’s fur at the sound of his name, and twists around to meet Claude’s attentive gaze with blurry eyes. Claude swallows thickly when he sees the tear tracks on Dimitri’s cheeks, but he doesn’t allow his smile to fade.

“Good morning, beloved,” Dimitri says softly once he regains his composure, smiling at Claude despite his sour mood. He wipes the tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his blue coat as he rises from his knees.

“You look tired.” Since Dimitri didn’t immediately shy away, Claude decides to take his chances. He watches carefully as Dimitri sheds his cloak and puts it on the overflowing wardrobe beside the door. A second later, he decides to dig a little deeper. “How was training?”

“A bit stressful,” Dimitri confesses after a moment of hesitation, heaving another deep sigh. It’s only been a few months since he took up figure skating after years of avoiding the sport like the plague, and even less since he started going without either of his service dogs.

“You know, you can always take Gouda or Areadbhar with you again. They are trained to assist you.” They’ve had this debate three or four times now, and Claude can already guess what Dimitri’s replay will sound like. It’s always the same.

“Yet it isn’t fair to have them sit around for 2 hours without a break. They can’t exactly assist me when I’m on the ice anyway.” Dimitri looks at the golden retrievers serenely following his every step as he approaches Claude.

“They don’t need to. Just their presence is enough to calm you. You know that.”

“I’ll consider it,” Dimitri says, and it’s the first time that he has yielded on the topic at all. It’s odd for him to relent so fast. It means that there must be something else that is bothering, that wears him out so much that he doesn’t even have the energy to argue with Claude.

“Dimitri,” Claude says in a warm tone once Dimitri stands beside him, throwing him off guard by discarding the nicknames he usually makes use of. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” He reaches up a hand to caress Dimitri’s cheeks, and Dimitri closes his eyes, leaning into the contact.

“I know,” Dimitri says finally, after a few seconds of contemplation, “I know.” The tension disappears from his shoulders as he takes a deep breath. When Dimitri opens his eyes again, his smile grows in sincerity and he slowly bends down to kiss Claude.

“Nuh-uh.” Claude moves the hand from Dimitri’s cheek to his mouth and stops him. “No kisses until you washed that taste of celery juice from your mouth.” A playful pout forms on Dimitri’s lips, and Claude laughs in relief that Dimitri is already feeling a little better. “Don’t even look at me like that. It won’t work.” 

Dimitri huffs a small laugh. The sensation of Dimitri’s lips moving against his palm has Claude almost jumping out of his chair. He flushes when Dimitri takes his hand in one of his own and kisses the back of it. “Always the charmer,” he jokes, but in truth he is positively smitten.

“It’s good for my training,” Dimitri comments sheepishly. Claude hums in agreement, and grabs Dimitri by the collar of his black sweater, pulling him down to give him a peck on the nose as compensation, since he cannot stand with Aymr still occupying his lap.

“I know it is. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though.” There’s a short, quiet pause between them. Their eyes meet, and Claude hopes Dimitri can see the same fondness in Claude that Claude sees in him. 

The sound of Claude’s stomach growling breaks them out of their little moment. Dimitri laughs as he breaks away, placing a feather-light kiss on Claude’s forehead and moving to the kitchen. “Hungry?”

“Very,” Claude says truthfully. It’s not a secret that Claude isn’t a good cook. The best he can do is make some noodles, and even then he makes a mess out of the kitchen. Dimitri used to be no better until Dedue and Ashe taught him, so that Dimitri could keep up the diet needed for a figure skater by himself.

He isn’t a professional by any means, but it’s certainly better than Edelgard’s and Claude’s efforts combined, and it’s enough to get by with ease. 

“Dedue taught me a new recipe yesterday.”

“Surprise me then, my prince.”

It doesn’t take long until Dimitri has finished lunch for both the of them. Dimitri idly mentions that Mercedes and Annette will arrive about 3pm as they eat, and Claude realises that he almost forgot about the little baking session they set up two days ago when Claude told them that he has never baked before in his life.

Once the dishes have been washed, dried and put in their cupboards, Claude sits down to work on his essay once more. With their friends coming over soon he only has a limited amount of time left to finish it. Dimitri has no such essay to write at the moment and chooses to take a nap.

By the time that Claude has finished the last paragraph of his essay, the doorbell rings. Dimitri doesn’t wake up at the noise and continues to snore peacefully. Claude decides to give Dimitri one more minute, and after lifting Aymr from his lap, opens the door first.

“Hello, Claude.” Mercedes’ doesn’t appear to be startled in the slightest when it’s Claude who opens the door to Dimitri’s apartment. She greets him with a warm smile while Annette excitedly rambles about something behind her, things he can barely understand as a non-native speaker.

“Greetings, my ladies, we were expecting you. Come on in.” In a flurry of motions he steps back and bows, waiting for his friends to enter. He helps both of them take of their heavy winter coats like the gentleman he is, additionally buying Dimitri another minute or two of shut-eye in the process.

Claude leads them to the kitchen despite being fully aware that they won’t be getting lost in a small apartment like this, not to mention that the two know their way around from experience.

Annette giggles when she spots Dimitri sprawled out on the couch. “He looks so peaceful,” she mutters under her breath, but Claude still hears it. It’s an observation he silently agrees with and the reason why he hesitates to wake up Dimitri at first. 

He does it anyway, because he knows that Dimitri wouldn’t like to keep their guests waiting. Once Dimitri is up and running they put on some festive music on Annette’s request and start by kneading what Claude assumes is the dough of the biscuits they are going to be making over the next hour so.

The concept seems boring to him. Regardless, he does as Mercedes asks him too. The dough is fairly rigid at the beginning, but the more he kneads it, the softer it becomes. The movement of his palms against the pliable batter is somehow soothing, if not stress relieving, and not at all tedious like Claude expected it to be.

Mercedes then tells him to roll it out and hands him a box of cookie cutters in various shapes and sizes. All of a sudden, Dimitri yelps and there’s a giant cloud of white powder in the kitchen. Claude erupts into laughter when he sees Dimitri standing there dumbfounded and covered with flour from head to toe.

“I’m so sorry, Dimitri.”

“It’s okay, Annette. It won’t stain.”

“It’s my fault still. I’m very sorry.”

“No more apologies or I’ll hug you.”

“But-” Annette squeeks in surprise when Dimitri bends down to her level and wraps his arms covered in white powder around her small frame. “Nooooo,” she yells, but it quickly turns to cheerful laughter. 

When Dimitri finally lets her go again, Annette’s entire front is covered in flour, and Claude has to lean on the kitchen counter for support. Claude only notices that Dimitri has turned his attention to his next victim when it’s already too late for him to run, and Claude will forever deny Dimitri’s accusation that he screamed like a little girl.

“Do you two have any plans for Star’s Departure yet?” Mercedes asks once they have the first batch of biscuits in the oven. Claude only recently learned about Fódlan’s national holiday through Edelgard. She brought up the topic as a side note when she told them she would be gone on a business trip for the coming month.

As far as Claude can tell, Star’s Departure occurs on the night of a national holiday called Saint Cichol Day, which takes place on the 27th of Ethereal Moon and is meant to commemorate the heroic tasks of one of the five Saints that are entangled with Fódlan’s history. That’s the extent of his knowledge.

“My parents are coming to Fódlan for the holidays, so we’re having a family dinner at my grandparents’ house.” It’s astonishing, really, that his father would travel to another country for a holiday which he doesn’t even celebrated, and his mother, although born in Fódlan, is no better. 

His mother also walked out on his grandparents to marry the love her life about 30 years ago. Claude knows that it was his grandparents who asked to come together once more after years of silence. If they did it for Claude’s sake, so that he may see his parents again, or as an attempt to reconcile with their daughter, Claude doesn’t know.

“Dimitri is finally going to meet your parents?” Annette appears to be more excited at the prospect than Claude himself for some reason. Though he has to admit, it was never part of his plan to take Dimitri with him to his little family gathering.

In his head Claude is already arranging that particular meeting as a special occasion with only his parents. He is certain that Dimitri has no desire bearing witness to one of the horrible arguments his parents and grandparents might very well get into that night.

He has also heard the horror stories from Dimitri’s friends about their own holidays, and how those led to Dimitri inviting them to his home instead. That is what he expected Dimitri to be doing since Edelgard isn’t home to keep him company.

“No?” Claude says slowly, carefully, and watches as Annette’s expressions falls a little, “I thought you guys were doing something together?” At this point she looks positively confused, and glances at Mercedes, who looks just as astonished herself.

“We haven’t been doing those since-” Mercedes stops mid-sentence and seems to reconsider her next words. “- since Dimitri and Edelgard moved in together.” In other words, those parties happened before Dimitri lost his parents, and Edelgard consequently her mother. Claude swallows the lump in his throat. He didn’t know that, he shouldn’t have assumed.

“I was actually planning to spend the night alone…” Claude risks a glance at Dimitri’s tense form. His lips are pressed into a thin line and his gaze focused on the ground at his feet. His body is wound tighter than a string on the bow, as if he’s going to snap any second. Claude has seen that exact pose once before. 

“Are you sure, Dimitri? That’s very unlike you,” Mercedes says, concern evident in her voice. Claude should have guessed that the holidays would remind Dimitri of his deceased family, that it would be a difficult time for him to get by without being dragged back into the abyss by his own dark thoughts.

“You can come with me if you want, Mitya. My parents would like to meet you sometime soon anyway.” It’s the first thing that comes to mind. His grandparents did ask him if he would be bringing Dimitri, and although he denied it a week ago when they called there is still time to change that.

Dimitri’s eyes widen at his offer, as if he is genuinely surprised that Claude would invite him to something as simple as a family gathering. All that Claude knows is that he doesn’t like to leave Dimitri alone on a day that could bring back the worst of his memories, and the worst of his behaviours.

“No, thank you, Claude. It’s been too long since you got to spend time alone with your family, let alone with your parents. I wouldn’t want to intrude on that.” The feeling that this isn’t about Claude or his parents at all steadily begins to slink into his mind. Claude tries his luck anyway.

“Dimitri-”

“I’m fine, I promise. Please, let’s drop this.” Claude never liked to leave his schemes to chances anyway. They move on from the topic like Dimitri asked them to, but there is a sullen note that continues to linger in the atmosphere even as they get back into their work with renewed energy.

It’s still fun, it’s still a good time, and after a while even Dimitri’s frown turns into a small smile again, but the fact that Dimitri has chosen to spend what might possibly one of the worst days in the year for him alone is never forgotten. 

He sees it in the way Mercedes eyes flicker to Dimitri from time to time, gaze filled with worry. How Annette chooses to speak to him in a softer tone, how cautious and deliberate her movements are compared to her usually clumsy motions.

Once all the biscuits are baked and stored in their respective boxes Mercedes and Annette get ready to leave as they themselves still have work to revise. Dimitri and him get to keep most of the boxes despite Dimitri arguing against it. Their two friends can bake without much trouble while Dimitri and Claude cannot. At least not without destroying the kitchen.

Claude allows Dimitri to take a shower first. It affords him enough time shed his flour stained clothes and throw them, as well as Dimitri’s into the washing machine. He steals one of Dimitri’s sweat pants and shirts because they’re looser on his body than Claude’s own, and falls back onto the soft cushions of the couch.

He’s lucky it’s only flour. If it was any other substance that would leave stains on the material he would be moving around the furniture with a safety distance of at least a metre. If he ruined any of it by being careless, Edelgard would have his head on a silver platter the moment she returned home.

A few minutes into his research about Saint Cichol Day his phone vibrates and a small notification pops up at the top of the screen. He’s only partially surprised to see that it’s a message from Mercedes.

**> Mercedes**

_‘I’m worried for Dimitri, he never liked to spend the holidays alone :(’_

_‘me too muffin i already got a plan cooking’_

_‘Oh? :o If you need help you can count on me and Annie’_

_‘thanks i’ll need it. i’ll fill you two in soon’_

_‘I might not answer instantly since I will be helping Annie get the flour out of her hair’_

_‘good luck with that!’_

_‘:)’_

Claude switches contacts to write his mother, but finds himself lost for words. He is certain she wouldn’t mind if he cancelled their dinner for the night and have it a day later. She never was one for these kind of strict traditions. Yet somehow it feels as if Claude is disappointing his family, so he decides that it’s a matter than can wait until a better night.

Instead he chooses to text Sylvain, and receives a reply only seconds later that causes a smirk to stretch across his face.

**> Sylvain**

_‘wanna get out of the house on saints day?’_

_‘i have no idea what you’re planning but count me the fuck in’_

* * *

It’s three weeks before Saint Cichol Day.

After Claude’s classes have concluded, he enters the Black Eagles coffee shop located only a block away from Garreg Mach University, and is stunned to find a mass of people crowded around a table in the back. When he told Sylvain to spread the word about Dimitri’s surprise, he never expected for so many of their friends to show up.

He spots Hubert standing alongside Petra behind the counter, taking in orders while also patiently explaining something to their foreign friend. It’s peak period for the coffee shop, thus the remaining staff, including Ferdinand and Caspar, are busy keeping up with the rush of customers.

Claude greets Hubert with a polite nod when he passes, and Hubert returns the gesture without comment. Edelgard has left him in charge of the coffee shop while she is away on a business trip for her recently deceased father’s company, with Dimitri coming in second should Hubert fall ill.

“There you are,” Hilda whines once she sees him approach their table, “we’ve been waiting for you for _ages_.” It’s easy to tell that she is being overly dramatic just for the sake of it. For one, there’s a big grin on her face.

“Actually, it’s only been 5 minutes…” Well, Claude can tell easily, perhaps Ignatz not so much. Or he’s just being the honest person that he always is. Claude doesn’t mind either way.

“Like I said,” Hilda says and rolls her eyes, “ _ages_.” With a huff she falls back into her chair beside Marianne, crossing her arms and legs. The others make space for Claude to fit into the circle they’ve made around the table.

“I gotta admit, I’m surprised to see you here Hilda. Not that I’m complaining though. The more the merrier,” he says, and lets his bag slide of his shoulder and to the ground.

“Excuse you,” Hilda gasps, placing her right over her heart, “I may be lazy, but I would never let down a friend in need.” Claude chuckles a little. That much is true at least.

“If you two are done with your dramatics,” Felix butts in from their right with an annoyed growl, “how about you start filling us in. I’m not here to watch you clown around.”

“Always so impatient Fé.” Sylvain throws an arm around Felix’s shoulders, and the only reason Felix doesn’t chew it off like he usually are Sylvain’s boyfriend privileges. “Not like Dima is gonna run in on us any time soon.”

Dimitri is still at Garreg Mach University. A day ago he decided to sign himself up to helping Professor Manuela prepare the school’s theatre in the late afternoon for the upcoming holiday concert next week. It’s the perfect time for Claude to set his plan into action.

“For once, I must agree.” Claude swivels around to his right to stare at Lorenz’s smug expression. It’s completely unreal. Sylvain and him have never been on the same wavelength.

“Guys, I think they replaced Lorenz. Just stay calm, don't show fear and no one make any sudden moves.” Lorenz merely rolls his eyes at Claude’s little joke while the rest of their friends chuckle.

“Haha, how very amusing. In any case, it is tradition that none are alone on the night of the Star’s Departure. It is meant to be spend with friends and family alike, and as your friend it is my duty to ensure that.”

“Nope, it’s Lorenz, alright.”

“I think that’s very sweet of you…,” Marianne says suddenly, and so quietly that Claude barely hears it. She has always been the quiet one out of their friends group, but Hilda has been a good influence on her ever since they became a little closer than friends.

“Thank you, Marianne. Your opinion is highly appreciated.”

“Please don’t feed his ego.”

“Let’s not stray from the topic, shall we?” Ingrid chimes in and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Even if Dimitri is busy right now, we still only have a limited amount of time. All of us got assignments to work on and exams are approaching. We don’t got time to waste.”

“Yes, mother.” It’s foreseeable that Sylvain would be receiving the book Ingrid had been holding in her hands to his face for that comment. Even so, he still looks pleased with himself, far too pleased for Ingrid’s liking.

“Moving on,” Claude says, gathering everyone’s attention once more, “my plan is to throw Dima some sort of surprise party. I read up on a few common traditions, but I wanted to ask you guys for some advice. Especially you guys from Faerghus.”

“Most important tradition is always the dinner,” Sylvain says smugly, sending Ingrid a look that screams of challenge. Claude can tell that she is contemplating jumping over the coffee table to get to him.

“Which may not begin until the Blue Sea Star appears in the night sky,” Ingrid adds once she’s done staring down her childhood friend. “Traditionally, an extra setting is left at the table in Faerghus should someone show up unexpected.”

He hasn’t heard nor read of that tradition yet despite doing some extensive research on the matter. Then again, there’s a lot to learn about Fódlan, and he doesn’t know nearly everything yet. Ingrid picks up on his confusion.

“Snow storms can get really bad in the northern regions,” she explains, “it was common for families to arrive late or even get lost, but it was considered offensive to exclude family members from the preparations. It’s called the Saint’s Day of Love and Unity for a reason.”

“Don’t forget about the lanterns either,” Annette interjects before Claude can ask Ingrid about that last sentence. “They used to let them fly to grant their lost family a safe passage. Sadly that’s forbidden now, deemed too dangerous. Now we just set them down in the front yard. Oh, and we build them together right after dinner.”

“Then, at exactly midnight, we exchanges gifts and toasts,” Mercedes finishes cheerfully by clapping her hands together. At this point Claude has completely lost track of everything they said. He didn’t even get the chance to pack out a pencil or paper yet.

“Hold up a minute.” Claude holds up one hand as a sign for them to stop their bantering for a minute while he uses the other to get his notepad from his bag. “It’s good to know you’re excited, but you’re going way too fast. Please rewind.” In the end it’s Dedue who takes pity on him.

“To cut this short. The host prepares dinner, adding an extra setting, which may begin once the Blue Sea Star appears. Lanterns are build after dinner and put down in the front yard. At midnight, gifts, toasts and wishes are exchanged.”

Dedue talks slowly, waiting after each aspect for Claude to finish before he moves onto the next. Claude looks around at his friends once he has got everything jotted down. “Thanks. Anything else someone wants to add?”

“A lot of families from the Adrestian Empire dance to music once the lanterns have been put outside.” The sudden appearance of a voice directly behind him has Claude yelping in surprise. Hubert stands behind him, holding a tray with three mugs.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that.” He says it perhaps a little too harsh, but he hates creep up behind him. It awakens memories in him that he would prefer to forget about. “You’re coming too Hubert? Didn’t take you for the guy to be into this kinda stuff,” Claude asks once he has calmed down.

“I am not,” Hubert confesses simply, without hesitation. “However, anything is better than spending even a single torturous minute with my family. Unless, of course, you do not want me there?” Claude smirks as Hubert quirks an eyebrow.

“Of course you’re invited!” Hubert nods and slinks off somewhere to deliver the drinks. Claude looks back at the others. “Anything else?” Most of them shake their heads. “Then let’s move onto the actual plan. Problem number one. We’ll need to get Mitya out of the house for the preparations.”

“I got an idea.” Claude turns his attention to Mercedes once again. “Professor Byleth said that Garreg Mach University is handing out gifts to orphans on Saint Cichol Day. She told me she was going to ask Dimitri if he wanted to help, but she wasn’t sure if you two were going to be busy.”

“Perfect! Can you tell her what we’re planning, Muffin?” Mercedes nods. “That’s one problem solved. Then we got the second problem. I have no idea how to cook or bake.”

“To no one’s surprise.” Claude spins around to look at Lysithea’s smug expression and sends her a mocking glare. With every month that passes she seems to grow even sassier.

“Hey! Like you’re any better, kid.” The term instantly gets a reaction out of her. Claude is prepare when she lifts her coffee mug in a very obvious threat to dump it on his head.

“Call me that again and see what happens.” Claude playfully lifts his hands in surrender and Lysithea huffs in indignation. “I was going to bake you some sweets and a cake, but it seems you don’t require my service.”

“Sorry, Lysithea, it’s just so easy to tease you. I’ll take it back.” Lysithea hums in satisfaction and puts the mug back on the table. It appears he has been let off easy just this time.

“About dinner,” Ashe chimes in, “maybe each of us can bring something to contribute. Like a buffet.” The idea sounds good enough. A buffet would be easy to put together with everyone bringing a little something.

“First we gotta know how many mouths we’ll have to feed. How many of you are actually going to come?” To Claude’s surprise every single one of his friends lift their hands, even those currently at work in the shop. “Ok, that’s a lot. Don’t y’all have families to spend the holiday with?” Claude used to think that Dimitri’s friends were the exception not the rule.

“Yeah, we do, technically,” Sylvain speaks up, “but practically lots of our families are dicks, as you know. Spending the holidays with them is just pure suffering. I’ll do anything to get out of the house, but I also just wanna help a friend.”

“Some of us do have nice families, but we can’t have any of our friends be alone on a holiday about love and unity,” Leonie says with determination. She lowers her voice for her next words. “Not everyone got a family, or a nice one for that matter, to spend it with.”

“It is a reminder to be thankful about what we have.” The mood drops when the words drop out of Dedue’s mouth, and a sudden silence envelopes them. The bustle of other customers around them is uncomfortable in the depressed atmosphere that has lifted.

Claude has never thought about it that way. For most of his life, he has taken his family for granted, taken his parents for granted. Claude never had an easy life either. His father is a major political figure in Almyra, and since Claude’s birth there have been countless attempts on his life.

He was an outsider in Almyra, never had any real friends there, gave up any attempts to make any after a while. He was often lonely, but never truly alone. He had his parents, most of all. He had a crazy uncle and a few cousins who didn’t treat him like trash for who he was, for a heritage he couldn’t change.

Dimitri and Edelgard were different.

Dimitri’s real mother died at his birth, and Patricia - Edelgard’s mother - took that place after a painful divorce from her husband. She obtained custody of Edelgard, her only daughter and the only one of the Hresvelg children still alive after a terrible incident, and married Lambert only a few years later in Fhirdiad.

Dimitri and Edelgard grew up as siblings. They were both hit hard when Patricia and Lambert were killed during a terrorist attack, leaving their two children to fend for themselves. Felix’s father Rodrigue became their guardian when they refused to be seperated, and moved into the man’s one spare room together until they were old enough to live by themselves.

Perhaps Claude’s holidays have always been a little stressful with a complicated family situation such as his own. But he has never had to think about what it would feel like to sit at the table with one less person each year. Or with no one at all. What it would feel like to walk into an empty room, be reminded of old, happy memories and realise that those people weren’t there anymore.

Claude doesn’t know how he would feel if his parents or anyone else important to him suddenly died, and he doesn’t pretend to believe that he knows how Dimitri feels. He just knows that he doesn’t want Dimitri to be alone on Star’s Departure. Distantly he also wonders how Edelgard is doing right now.

“Anyway,” Claude breathes, “we can make a group chat to figure out dinner. I’ll create one later. Now, we also-”

“He’s coming! Dimitri is coming!” Caspar yells from the back of the coffee shop. Claude’s eyes widen against his will. There is no way. Did they really waste this much time?

“Oh shit.” Claude scrambles to rip out the page from his notepad and shove it into his bag. “Everyone scatter! And no one lose a single word about this!” The other customers seem both confused and annoyed when Claude’s friends rush to collect their things and dash to different tables.

Everyone has sat down just in time when Dimitri appears around the corner where he could have easily seen all of his friends crowded around a single table through the large panorama windows of the coffee shop. That would have been far too suspicious for Claude to be able to explain.

One glance at the clock put up above the counter at front tells Claude that Dimitri is far earlier than anticipated. A light tap on his arm pulls him out of his thoughts. Sylvain sits across from with Felix by his side and locks eyes with Claude before he points down to his bag. Claude takes the hint and pulls his laptop out to look a little more authentic.

By the point that Dimitri walks in - Gouda and Areadbhar leashed and at his side as always - everyone is either working or at least pretending to, with the exception of Linhardt who sleeps at a table in the back. Dimitri checks in with Hubert first, getting his drink afterwards. Claude waves him over when Dimitri searches the room with his eyes.

“Did something happen, Mitya? You’re early.” Claude asks curiously when Dimitri takes the chair beside him. Gouda and Areadbhar lay down beside table, observing the room with watchful eyes. Dimitri grasps Claude’s hand on the table, disappointment sparkling in his eyes.

“Professor Manuela was reported sick this morning. They delayed the preparations until tomorrow.” Claude rolls his eyes. That’s just typical. Of course something so minor would cut his little scheme short. He should have predicted it.

“Hangover, again?”

“Apparently,” Dimitri chuckles, shaking his head. He gives Claude’s hand a small squeeze before he lets go to pull out his notes to learn for his exam and Claude follows his example. Time flies by quickly.

Hubert closes the coffee shop at 6pm. By this point a few of their friends have already left and went home. Sylvain is not one of those people, and he uses the opportunity of having so many of his friends in the same spot to start a snowball fight. The whole thing gets out of hand way faster than Claude is willing to admit.

Thirty minutes later, Dimitri and him are running home. Claude’s clothes are soaked and he’s shivering from head to toe. Dimitri lends him his coat, but it doesn’t help that much either. The moment they’re inside the apartment and the door has fallen shut behind them, Claude starts shedding his wet clothes.

“I’m gonna go take a shower. Join me?” he asks suggestively, watching Dimitri through hooded eyes. Dimitri stutters out something incoherent and eventually settles on nodding hesitantly.

They’re out of the shower in an hour. Dimitri and him lay together on the couch in the living room with tea at their side and a movie running in the background. Dimitri falls asleep less than ten minutes into the movies and Claude chooses to use the time to create the group he promised to make.

Dimitri has been doing that a lot these past few days. Sleeping anywhere, at any time of day. He has generally been sleeping a lot, enough to rival even Linhardt. Claude looks at the two dogs slumbering in front of the couch instead of on the pillow they normally rest on, and realises that they must have noticed as well.

It concerns Claude. It concerns him a lot.

A small glimmer of hope comes to him in the form of a message from Edelgard. one that lifts his spirit a little. It also reminds him of something else entirely. Claude takes a deep breath. It’s time for him to clear up things with his parents.

* * *

It’s 2 weeks before the Saint’s Day of Love and Unity.

Dimitri’s condition has not been improving over the last week, but there isn’t much Claude can do about it. When Dimitri doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night, silent scream dying in his throat and sweat soaked, he wakes up light-headed, feeling even more worn out than he did before he slept.

Claude has been trying to avoid engaging in any activities with Dimitri that might cause him more stress than necessary. That’s why he is a bit taken aback when Dimitri asks him to go to the market of his own volition. Claude has nothing against a little bit of shopping - there are presents for his friends that he needs to get still - so he agrees to Dimitri’s suggestion.

The streets are beautifully decorated and packed with people, but with one dog on either side of them they manage to path a way through the crowds without bumping into pedestrians every step of the way. The shops themselves are no better, not really. It doesn’t stop Claude nor Dimitri from buying what they need to though.

Claude manages to find something small for each of his close friends - it’s a good thing that Claude remembered to grab his bag before they left - to his own surprise, the only one he truly seems to struggle with is Dimitri. His partner’s mind is always set on practicality, thus things such as stuffed animals are out of the question. 

Dimitri leads him into the city centre where medium-sized huts have been set up, decorated with bright lights, vibrantly green branches of pine trees, little golden stars and colorful orbs printed with precise patterns. In the centre of what Dimitri calls a Star Market stands giant pine tree, graced by the very same decorations. On its peak is a shining star, connected to the rest of the huts through fairy lights.

Claude cannot help but stare, captivated by the scene around him and perhaps also a little overwhelmed. Dimitri expertly leads him through the maze and doesn’t complain when Claude asks him to wait at a stall. One stall in particular grabs Claude’s attention.

“What are those?” he asks, pointing to hut which seems to be producing the heavenly scent he’s smelling. The folded pale batter reminds him of an Almyran recipe he used to like a lot.

“Crepes. They’re especially popular at this time of the season and they taste really good. My parents always got me and El one when we went to the markets together…” Dimitri trails off. Claude gives his hand a squeeze to pull him back out of his head when he sees Dimitri’s eyes turn dull. “Would you like one?”

“Yeah.” There’s too much selection for Claude to decide, so he asks Dimitri for a recommendation. In the end, they each get a standard one with cinnamon and sugar. Claude savors the sweet taste on his tongue as they continue to walk through the market.

Out of the corner of his eye Claude spots a stall packed with packages of embroidered fabric. Their patterns and designs resemble Almyran crafts. As they pass it, he considers buying one, but one look at the price tag is reason enough for him to discard the idea. That is far too expensive for a fake, even if Claude has more than enough money to buy it. It would still be a waste.

A few hours into their exploration of the market him and Dimitri catch sight of familiar faces.

“Hey! Over here!” Sylvain spots them first. He calls them over to the round high table he is leaning on with his forearms. Gathered around said table are Felix, Professor Byleth, her husband and Garreg Mach University’s president Seteth and his daughter Flayn.

“Good evening everyone,” Dimitri greets them all politely, receiving a few of the same greetings in return. Claude is currently too shocked by the fact that Sylvain and Seteth are standing at very same table, and only nods in acknowledgement.

“Good to see you two! We were just talking about you.” 

“Should I be worried?”

“No need,” Byleth interrupts the two once she has taken a sip from her mug, “I was simply wondering if you would like to join me on Saint’s Day. We are handing out gifts and free food for orphans at the university. We could use the help.”

“That sounds wonderful! But I am unsure if…” Dimitri shifts on his spot, struggling to put his words together. Claude doesn’t want to force him, but he can encourage him at least. Somehow he needs to get Dimitri out of the house, after all.

“Sounds good to me, Mitya. I could rest easy knowing you wouldn’t be alone for the entire day.” Claude’s words appear to reassure Dimitri, but he still hesitates to accept Byleth’s offer. Felix rolls his eyes at his friends indecisiveness.

“Just say yes already. You know you want to,” Felix mutters and Claude can see him bite back on more words that he doesn’t dare give a voice to. Despite the ruthless comments Felix sometimes lets loose, he has learned to know when to hold his tongue.

“I suppose it would be nice.” Dimitri sighs, petting Areadbhar’s head. “I’ll come if you’ll have me,” he says, smiling slightly as he meets Byleth’s eyes. The professor’s stoic expression morphs into one of her rare smiles.

“Thank you, I appreciate it. The event will begin at 3pm in the main hall. Please be there half an hour early if you can.” Claude heaves a sigh of relief when Dimitri nods in acknowledgement. That’s one more problem solved.

“Now that we got that figured out,” Sylvain drawls cheekily as he throws an arm around Dimitri’s shoulder, “how about some hot spiced wine?”

“What’s in it?” Claude asks, looking at the strong red, almost black liquid in Sylvain’s mug. Wine isn’t an uncommon drink in Almyra, but Claude has never seen this type before.

“There are a few different recipes, but most ingredients include red wine with cinnamon, fresh oranges and mulling spices. That’s why they also call it mulled wine,” Byleth explains patiently.

“Some prefer to add other ingredients such as sweeteners or extra liquor as well.” Seteth’s firm voice startles Claude a little. The man looks positively at peace with himself though, standing beside Byleth with one arm around her waist and a serene expression on his face. Claude has never seen Seteth so relaxed. 

“Non-alcoholic mulled wine is sold too!” All of a sudden, another mug is shoved in his face and Claude looks a bit lower to see Flayn happily holding it out to him. Somehow the fact that Seteth is letting his little girl drink wine, even if it’s non-alcoholic shocks him more than the man himself talking to him.

“ _Boring._ Let’s get you some real wine, Dima. You too, Claude.” If the grin on Sylvain’s face tells Claude anything, then it’s that Sylvain isn’t trying to get Dimitri drunk, it’s that he’s trying to lure his friend away from the table.

“Sylvain, I have to drive early tomorrow morning. I cannot.” The exasperation is evident in Dimitri’s voice as he speaks, but there is a little bit of it that sounds more like teasing to Claude’s ears.

“Just one.”

“No.”

“Half.”

“ _No._ ”

“One sip.”

“ _Sylvain._ ”

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” Sylvain chuckles as he finally relents, turning his attention to Claude afterwards. “Claude, alcohol or no?”

“I’ll take first.”

“Got it. Fé?”

“You know,” Felix says, handing Sylvain his empty mug. Sylvain hums and places a light kiss on Felix’s forehead. When Felix pushes him away, blush starting to spread along his cheekbones, Sylvain just laughs.

“Of course. Two with and two without it is then. Let’s go get your husband to be a drink, Dima.”

“Sylvain! Wait, two of-”

“Hey, don’t look so surprised. I can be responsible too, ya know.” Claude watches as Sylvain drags Dimitri and Areadbhar along with him, and the two disappear into the crowd around the stall.

“Your friends informed us about your plan,” Seteth speaks up suddenly once they are out of earshot. “I must admit that I find it very honorable of all of you to do this for him. We’ll keep him occupied for the day as long as you’ll require.”

“Thank you,” Claude breathes out, relieved. Seteth actually smiles then and there, and at this point Claude is sure he must be dreaming. Gouda barks once, pulling Claude attention down to where he sits. Claude complies to his request and starts stroking his golden fur to calm his own fried nerves.

* * *

It’s a week before Star’s Departure.

Claude’s assignments have been handed in and his exams been written over the last 3 days. He feels satisfied with his performance on both, for once, and is quite confident he’ll receive good grades for his work. It feels good to have some weight lifted from his shoulders. One less thing he has to worry about until the next semester.

However, something else entirely has taken its place instead. It’s Dimitri who occupies his mind at every living hour now.

Since the accident Dimitri has become dangerously adept at hiding his problems if he truly wishes to do so, especially those which include his own health. Claude figured this out before Dimitri and him were even remotely close to anything like a couple, and after six months of being closer to him than most of his friends he can safely pick up on even the most subtle of changes in his partner’s behaviour. 

One of the most apparent changes is Dimitri’s appetite. Although he may not be a competitive figure skater, Dimitri strictly keeps to the diet of one with only minor exceptions. 

Thus, when Dimitri started eating less and less over the course of the last week, Claude began to worry. Still, he didn’t give it as much thought as he should have at the time, because it wasn’t unusual for Dimitri’s mental health to collapse around times that he was reminded of his family.

Claude only realised that he should have taken Dimitri’s change in appetite much more serious when his boyfriend quite literally collapsed in the middle of the living room one late evening. Claude could not prove his theory, but he assumed Dimitri did not eat all that day. 

It didn’t get any better when Claude forced him to eat something either. Despite consuming only a small amount of very light food, Dimitri threw up merely one or two minutes later, clutching his stomach as he kneeled above the toilet. Even still, Dimitri insisted that he was fine when he very clearly wasn’t.

This wasn’t the first time that Claude experienced one of Dimitri’s sudden drops in appetite, and Dimitri never explained any explicit cause for them to him. From the patterns of their appearance Claude could only assume that they were some sort of punishment that Dimitri unconsciously inflicted upon himself.

It wasn’t a good sign. Not at all. And at that point there was no denying that Dimitri’s mental health was very rapidly declining behind his carefully constructed mask of false happiness. 

It only grew worse when Dimitri continued to wake up screaming in the middle of the night due to his nightmares, and Claude would have to lull him back to sleep by singing an Almyran lullaby. Or when Dimitri struggled to fall asleep in the first place, despite dozing off everywhere and at any time only a week ago.

Claude did question Dimitri - he asked him what bothered him, how he could help him. Dimitri merely shrugged him off, pretending to be alright, like he wasn’t being crushed by some unseen force that Claude couldn’t even begin to grasp.

If Dimitri wasn’t ready to talk, then Claude could at least distract him from the issue gnawing away at his mind. 

That is his plan for today, at least. Dimitri idly brought up at breakfast today that it’s tradition to bring home a pine tree a week before Star’s Departure, and Claude has latched onto that information like a toddler to their mother.

It’s a shot in the dark, and it could very well be a mistake. There’s a possibility that it could awaken old memories for Dimitri, memories that he would prefer to keep buried beneath the rubbles that are his childhood. Claude despises leaving things up to chance, but he has got very few options left.

It’s frustrating, but it’s a gamble he’s willing to take. In any case, Claude tries not to focus on it as Dimitri and him walk to the market. 

Instead he observes Dimitri’s tense form from the corner of his eye, taking in the undeniable tension in his features. Claude gently brushes his knuckles against the back of Dimitri’s hand - a silent question for consent - and his partner responds by tentatively grasping for his hand. Claude lets him.

A bit of tension disappears from Dimitri’s face. It’s replaced by an anxious smile, which isn’t quite what Claude was hoping for, but it’s a step forward regardless. Claude smiles back, giving Dimitri’s hand a light squeeze. They have Areadbhar and Gouda with them should Dimitri’s mental health take a turn for the worse.

The actual shopping for the tree itself plays out far better than Claude anticipated. Dimitri and him banter a little over the size and shape, and Dimitri seems to thoroughly enjoy himself as they do. It’s nice change from the gloomy demeanor he carried since the beginning of the month.

Claude himself enjoys seeing the way Dimitri laughs again, and the way Dimitri’s muscles flex when he carries the tree home. He doesn’t make a secret of it either. He stares shamelessly, relishing the blush that spread from Dimitri’s cheeks to the tips of his ears.

“You have two sets?” he asks when they’re home again and Dimitri pulls one of two large cardboard boxes out of their storeroom. Written on the top of both boxes in Edelgard’s neat cursive handwriting with a black marker is _pine tree decor_.

“El likes red and gold. I like blue and silver. We couldn’t agree on one, so we decided to switch the colors every year.” Despite all their striking differences Dimitri and Edelgard usually get along very well. It’s always details that would seem insignificant to an outsider that he and his sister never seem to find common ground, and Claude cannot the small laugh crawling up his throat. “D-don’t laugh!”

“Sorry, sorry,” Claude chuckles, holding up his hands as a sign of apology. He opens the box and isn’t surprised in the slightest to find that Dimitri chose Edelgard’s colors. “So, uhh, where do we start?”

“With the lights, from bottom to the top. Then the ornaments, and lastly the pearl chain.” Dimitri unexpectedly pauses his excited rambling, staring at his feet as his face catches fire. “That’s how my parents- how El and I used to do it, anyway.”

There it is again. The thing Claude has been unable to piece together until now. The sudden mood drops Dimitri falls victim to whenever he talks about his family and their old traditions. The way he clings to them. To the baking with his friends, to the shopping and the markets, despite despising crowded spaces.

It suddenly hits Claude like a brick to the face.

Dimitri isn’t afraid of being reminded of his parents. That is unavoidable consequence around a time of the year which focuses so heavily on family. He’s afraid of losing everything that still connects him to them, of losing even the slightest of traditions they had. He’s afraid of forgetting.

“Let’s keep the tradition then.”Relief surges through Dimitri’s posture at his words. Claude decides not to comment on it.

As Dimitri suggested, they start with the lights and a minute into the whole affair Claude somehow manages to entangle himself in the cord. Dimitri teases him about it and Claude pouts in response. It’s not his fault that he’s unfamiliar with this type of thing. At some point, Dimitri takes pity on him and helps him untangle himself, chuckling through the entire process.

Putting up the ornaments is easier. They are made out of plastic instead of glass because Aymr likes to climb the pine tree when no one is looking, thus Claude doesn’t have to worry about breaking them. She broke one too many glass orbs in the first year after Dimitri and Edelgard had moved into their own apartment.

When everything has been put up, Dimitri hands Claude a golden star for the top and carefully lifts him up by his hips. Once Claude’s feet hit the ground again he takes a step back to admire their work. It actually looks really good for the fact that this is Claude’s first time decorating a tree, though he supposes most of it is thanks to Dimitri’s effort.

“I think we did a pretty good job. What do you think, Mitya?” A minute of silence passes between them where Dimitri doesn’t answer him. Claude turns toward him and discovers that Dimitri’s eyes have lost focus, staring beyond the tree, at nothing or at something Claude cannot see. He carefully touches Dimitri’s arm, speaking in a calm, quiet voice. “Mitya?”

Dimitri flinches and blinks. It takes him a second or two before he manages to pull himself out of his thoughts and focuses on Claude once more. “Ah, sorry. I was simply lost in thought.”

“Thinking about something in particular?”

Dimitri hesitates, eyes flitting anywhere but to Claude. “Just some old memories.” That’s the closest Dimitri has come to telling him about his troubles since the beginning of the month. Claude decides to grasp his chance by the neck.

“Tell me more.” There’s doubt in Dimitri’s eyes. Hesitation. As if he is afraid of how Claude might react to whatever is on his mind. To Claude the concept sounds almost silly and irrational, but he knows that Dimitri’s fear is very, very real. His concerns only grow when both Areadbhar and Gouda jump up from their pillow to stroll around them.

“Things have changed a lot. Six years ago I used to celebrate Star’s Departure with my family and friends. We all used to come together at my parents’ house a few days before the Saint’s Day to decorate the tree together. My father always picked me up in his arms and let me put the star on the top. Now they’re-”

Dimitri trails off and his entire body begins to shake. His breathing quickens, coming out in short, ragged puffs of air. His deep blue eyes lose focus, growing dull and pale in comparison. When Dimitri reaches up to claw at his arms Areadbhar jumps up to stop him.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Claude takes over for Areadbhar, taking Dimitri’s arms into a gentle but firm grip. “Breathe, Dimitri, breathe.” The dogs continue to stay close as Claude attempts to soothe Dimitri’s oncoming panic attack.

“Every year after that El and I would skip out on dinner and hide in our room. It only got better once I got Gouda and Areadbhar. And now… I don’t- I know it’s selfish of me to wish she was here. She’s on a business trip and it’s important for her future, but still, I… I don’t want to be...” Claude’s heart breaks when heavy sobs begin to wreck Dima’s body.

“It’s okay, Mitya. I can tell my grandparents and parents that I’m staying with you on Star’s Departure. They’ll be in Fódlan for a week or two anyway, I can still see them the days after,” Claude says softly and Dimitri’s eyes widen, as if he’s horrified by Claude’s words.

“N-no, I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you or them. I’m an adult, I should be able to handle one night alone- I still have Gouda and Areadbhar with me- I should not have to depend on you so much- to trouble you so much- I- I-” Claude lets go of Dimitri’s shaking arms to cup his face, forcing Dimitri to look at him.

“Look at me, Dimitri. You have spend nights alone before. Many times. But this obviously means a lot to you. I know how bad your head can get when you’re reminded of your parents. You should have told me how much this affects you. I would never leave you to your demons, you know that.”

“Yes, I do,” Dimitri breathes as he shakes, “but I didn’t want to be a burden. I know how much it means to you, being able to see your parents again. I didn’t want to ruin that for you with my own problems, with my-” Dimitri shakes his head. “You don’t deserve that.”

“And you don’t deserve to suffer alone,” Claude tries to reason with him. He thinks he gets it now. Dimitri cannot pretend to be cheerful on a night that is already far too painful for him, and he doesn’t wish to ruin Claude’s family reunion with his own issues either. 

Claude questions his plans for Star’s Departure now. Edelgard reassured him that a surprise party wasn’t a bad idea, but his doubts way heavy on his mind. Claude takes a deep breath. He trusts Edelgard, he will trust her judgement as well. “I will stay with you on Star’s Departure, alright?” 

“But your parents-”

“Won’t mind, and neither do I.” Claude decides to slowly lead him towards the couch to sit down. Gouda instantly seizes the opportunity and jumps onto Dimitri’s lap, nosing his hands. It takes a while before Dimitri speaks again, this time quiet and sorrowful.

“I can’t promise you that it will be cheerful night. Star’s Departure isn’t always… easy for me.” Dimitri grabs Gouda’s golden pelt in a fierce grip. The dog reacts by sitting up and licking his chin, leaning more and more of his weight onto Dimitri.

“And that’s totally fine with me.” Claude reaches for Dimitri’s hand, untangling it from Gouda’s fur and intertwining them. “I love you, Mitya. You don’t have to deal with everything alone. Let me help you, like you helped me.” The first month of Claude’s stay in Fódlan wasn’t easy for him. Dimitri was his shining light at the end of a dark tunnel back then. He wants to return that kindness. 

“Alright,” Dimitri says eventually, tightening his grip on Claude’s hand, “alright. I love you too.”

“I know.” Claude rises from the couch and gives Dimitri a peck on the forehead. “I have an idea. How about we call Edelgard? See how she’s doing?” Dimitri nods tentatively, hugging Gouda close. “I’ll go get the laptop then. Do you think you can manage to make some Chamomile tea for yourself?” Dimitri nods once more.

Claude races off to get his laptop from where he left it on the desk in Dimitri’s room to charge. For some reason, Areadbhar follows and keeps bumping into his legs. “I’m fine, Ari,” he says, petting the dog’s head, but Areadbhar still doesn’t leave and stays by his side.

When Claude exits the room with his laptop, he spots Dimitri standing at the kitchen counter, elbows supporting his weight as he covers his face with his hands. Steam rises from a familiar teapot on the counter beside him, put on a tray along with two cups and a bowl of sugar cubes. Aymr ignores the teapot as she dances along the counter, brushing against Dimitri’s arms again and again.

“Feeling any better?” Dimitri startles a little at his voice, lifting his head from his hands, eyes red and puffy from crying. Regardless he smiles at Claude, eyes warm and fond, basking Claude in Dimitri’s affection.

“Yes… thank you, beloved.”

Claude smiles back while he puts down the laptop on the kitchen table, sitting down on one of the chairs and tapping the seat beside him as an invitation. Dimitri takes the tray and sets it down on the table, falling into the chair by Claude’s side. Meanwhile Claude sends Edelgard a text message as Gouda and Areadbhar lounge on their pillow once more, asking if she’s awake.

It takes a while before she answers. In the meantime, he pours some tea into his and Dimitri’s cups. From the corner of his eye, he catches sight of Aymr running along the counter, jumping onto the table and onto Dimitri’s lap. Dimitri lets her lay down, gently stroking her fur with a small smile.

A notification pops up at the bottom of the screen. Claude accepts the call.

“Hello, gentlemen. How can we assist you this wonderful evening?” Dorothea appears on the screen, beaming at them through her sugary sweet words. Edelgard is directly beside her, resting her head on Dorothea’s shoulder. Her light brown hair is open for a change, messy and unkempt. The dark bags under her eyes stand out against the pale color of her skin tone.

“Good evening, Dorothea,” Dimitri says and Dorothea’s eyebrows shoot up at the broken tone of his voice. She glances at Claude, who shoots her a look which she luckily perceives as the hint not to comment on his miserable state that he was trying to send her.

“We just wanted to check up on you two. See how things are going. Any success so far?” Claude asks, turning his attention towards Edelgard. She perks up, picking her head up from Dorothea’s shoulder with a tired sigh.

“Yes, actually. We’ve been moving forward relatively fast once I threatened to take this debate to court. However, they only relented in the first place as they know the inheritance of the company to be part of my father’s will. I’m considering replacing some of the head executives once I have assumed control of the company.”

“It’s been a rather tiring week, honestly,” Dorothea says as she watches her girlfriend pinch the bridge of her nose in annoyance. “So, how we talk about something else. How are you two doing? I heard you’re going to assist Professor Byleth in their charity event at university, Dimitri. I think that’s very kind of you.”

“Thank you, Dorothea.” A light blush appears on Dimitri’s cheeks and he takes a sip from his teacup to hide it, gaze focusing on Aymr in his lap. Dorothea sees it regardless, but Edelgard stops her from commenting on it with a shake of her head.

“No problem, honey.”

“I’m not surprised. You always were the type to always give, but never take.” Edelgard locks eyes with Dimitri, lifting the edges of her lips despite of the exhaustion pulling at her features. “Don’t neglect yourself, little brother.”

“I’m fine, El. And we talked about this. I’m not little.” In fact, Dimitri is far taller than Edelgard, taller by multiple heads. Yet that has never stopped Edelgard from calling him the little brother, just because of the few months she has on him. That particular argument always manages to get some laughter out of Claude.

“Maybe not little, but still younger than me, little brother.” Dorothea giggles when Dimitri lets his head fall in defeat, sulking like a child who had been denied the sweets he requested.

“Don’t worry, Edelgard, I’ll make sure he’ll get all the attention he needs once he comes home from that event.” Edelgard cocks one neatly trimmed eyebrow at his words. He can see the silent question in her eyes, one he cannot answer with Dimitri directly beside him.

“You’re not celebrating Star’s Departure with your family? How come?” Dorothea still insists on asking anyway. It’s a question he can answer without giving away his plan, at the very least.

“We just had a recent change of plans, very recent,” Claude slowly, deliberately. Recognition flashes in Edelgard’s eyes and she hums in acknowledgement. “I’m certain my parents will understand.”

“A romantic night just for two, huh?” At this point, Dorothea is playing, upholding their little game so that Dimitri won’t grow suspicious. Still, he somehow gets the feeling that she is also trying to reassure herself that their plan still stands.

“Not exactly, but I guess it comes close enough.” Claude shrugs nonchalantly, but in truth he is screaming internally when he sees Dorothea open her mouth to voice what Claude would assume is a witty remark. The sudden noise of Edelgard’s alarm clock ringing shuts her down.

“Is it already that late?” she mutters as she disappears out of the cameras view. The ringing stops soon, replaced by rhythmic little beeps as Dorothea sets the alarm anew.

“We’ll have to sleep soon. The next meeting is tomorrow at dawn.” Edelgard’s head is turned to the side, most likely watching Dorothea. She mutters something under her breath that Claude doesn’t quite catch.

“Hey, El?” The tone Dimitri uses to address Edelgard with makes Claude worry that he is about to intrude on a intimate moment between him and his sister. Yet he is deeply aware that it would be rude to just walk away now, as much as he would like to give them a bit more privacy.

“Yes?” she asks, turning her attention to her brother once more.

“I miss you.” The words are quiet, sorrowful, filled with emotions that Claude cannot begin to comprehend. Edelgard’s eyes widen for a moment and the smiles. Just as bright yet sad as Dimitri’s, just as miserable. Claude takes a sip of Chamomile tea to distract himself.

“Me too, Dima,” she says without an ounce of hesitation, “I miss you too. We’ll see each other soon, I promise.” There’s a moment of heavy silence between them, even as Dorothea comes back into the picture. Claude lets them for a while, until he decides to direct the conversation somewhere else before it falls off the metaphorical cliff.

“Well, we wouldn’t want to keep you from your beauty sleep, ladies.” Dorothea snorts and rolls her eyes.

“Of course you wouldn’t.”

“Good night, El,” Dimitri says a bit firmer now, then quickly adds, “good night, Dorothea.”

“Good night, little brother, Claude.” She turns her attention to Claude one last time before she closes the call, her eyes attempting to tell Claude a story that he cannot understand. “I wish you good luck.”

* * *

Today is the day.

“I’ll be back by approximately 6pm.” Claude watches as Dimitri throws on his coat and scarf, adjusting it until it sits right. His phone lays on the kitchen table, constantly buzzing from all the messages he’s receiving. It’s a good thing that Dimitri just assumed all of them to be good wishes for the holidays, because they certainly aren’t. Sometimes Claude wishes his friends were more subtle.

“Just in time for dinner.”

“You’re going to cook?” Claude laughs at the face Dimitri pulls.

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to poison you, just going to order something. It’s gonna be a surprise though.” He walks over to give Dimitri a farewell kiss. “See you later, Mitya.”

“Until then.”

The second the door falls shut, Claude scrambles to grab his phone. He texts his friends that Dimitri is out of the house now and starts preparing by pulling out the boards of the expandable kitchen table. Edelgard told him that the spare chairs were somewhere in the back of the storeroom, but he can’t reach him without moving at least a dozen boxes.

By the time he has got the chair into the kitchen and cleaned from all the dust they collected, the doorbell rings. Hilda and Marianne are the first to arrive. The box Hilda carries with her has all kinds of holiday decor in it. He didn’t ask her to bring any, so he sends her a questioning look.

“Mercedes let it slip that you had barely anything when she was here to bake! We can’t have that on a Saint’s Day party.” One look around the room tells him that she’s right, thus he lets her and Marianne start decorating the place as she pleases. 

The others start filing in soon, each of them bringing a small portion of a dish or some baked sweets to contribute. In Sylvain’s words, it’s a collective effort. He’s arguing with Lorenz how to best set up the food on the kitchen counters when he gets a call. A feeling of dread rouses inside at the name that appears on the screen.

“Excuse me for a second,” he tells Lorenz and slinks into Dimitri’s room, closing the door behind him. “Edelgard?”

“Our flight has been cancelled.” Claude takes in a sharp breath. That doesn’t sound good, not at all. He already feared as much when he saw her name. Only a day ago he joked about the chances of someone’s flight actually been cancelled on the night of the holiday, just because it was part of at least 80% of the movies he watched with Dimitri. The irony is sour on his tongue.

“As straightforward as always I see. What do you mean your flight has been cancelled? Why?” It’s a stupid question, he knows. He can already guess why. But he needs to ask anyway, just in case.

“I’m not going to assume what it currently looks like at Garreg Mach, but there’s a powerful storm wreaking havoc on Enbarr, and the planes can’t fly in this weather. It’s too dangerous.”

“We’re stuck here. We won’t make it in time,” Dorothea chimes in, sounding more disappointed than angry.

“Are there no other transports you can take?”

“Like we didn’t think of that already,” Edelgard huffs angrily. Claude hears as she takes a breath to calm herself. “The bus routes are too slow, and the fast train tracks are blocked by a number of trees at the moment. I don’t know how long it will take them to remove them. I don’t think we’ll arrive until tomorrow.”

“It’s okay,” Claude sighs, “he’ll be glad to see you anyway, even if it’s a day later. We’ll prepare you an extra setting anyway, just in case.”

“You don’t have to-”

“But I’d like to. It’s tradition, after all.” For a few moments, all Claude hears is the silent buzz of his phone and the background noise of the airport from Edelgard’s side.

“He really is rubbing off on you. Sentimental fools,” she mutters, then speaks again with reawakened vigor. “A simple snow storm won’t stop me in my tracks after 4 weeks of dealing with possibly the worst humans on earth. We’ll try to be there before midnight. See you later, Claude.”

Edelgard hangs up before he can reply. Despite all the odds that are stacked against them Claude believes that the two will make it. If anyone can pull of something like that, it’s certainly Edelgard. Therefore, he tries not to dwell on it as he tells the others to stick to the plan.

About ten minutes before Dimitri is supposed to come home, everything has been prepared. Hilda did a good job organising the decorations. The room is lit by only a few candles and fairy lights intertwined with pine tree branches which she either put in vases or simply laid out. Among those branches are a number of gold and red orbs. 

For Hilda’s sake, Claude dearly hopes those aren’t made out of glass. This morning he found Aymr nested in their pine tree and almost screamed his heart out until he realised it was just Edelgard’s cat. Apparently, cats like the scent that pine trees emit. Or so the internet tells him.

The kitchen is literally stacked with food. Lorenz decided to take the organisation into his own hands when Claude disappeared to talk with Edelgard. He’s put everything in such a way that a queue will build around the island in the middle. Tableware first, desserts last, and the pot with mulled wine on the oven. Claude can’t say that he hates the arrangement. 

Hubert has taken it upon himself to show Claude where Edelgard hid the holiday music CDs of her parents. Claude makes sure to handle them with extra care and informs everyone to not touch them unless absolutely necessary as he puts on of them into drive of his laptop. If Edelgard is as attached to the things of her parents as Dimitri, then breaking them or even so much as getting a scratch on them won’t be good for both Claude’s and Edelgard’s health, for different reasons.

Dedue has brought two round high tables that Claude puts just between the dining table and the couch. It’s all a bit tight and narrow, but still good enough for everyone to move around freely. Hilda calls them too blank for the festivities and decides to quickly decorate those as well by simply throwing a red tablecloth on them and tying the ends together with a bow where the legs cross. Claude supposes it’s a good thing. The tables will stay clean this way.

Most of their friends are already lounging about and talking happily when the front suddenly swings open. Everyone turns their attention towards Dimitri, who steps through the door, a frown etched into his face.

“Claude, why are there cars-” Dimitri breaks off when he discovers that his living room and kitchen are packed full with his friends, his eyes becoming as big as soccer balls.

“Surprise!”

Dimitri just stands there for a good full minute. His eyes observe the entire room, and as they land on Claude, he waves back cheekily. A few seconds later, Dimitri starts crying silently which turns into full on sobbing soon enough. At first, Claude thinks has fucked up. He’s really done it now. But then he hears the broken mutters of thank yous, not only directed at Claude, but at everyone else as well.

Claude breathes a sigh of relief. Dimitri’s close friends rush to soothe him and Claude lets them, watching cautiously from his spot in the kitchen. Gouda and Areadbhar are already on their legs to assist their owner anyway. Claude would just crowd the entry hallway even more if he joined them.

Eventually, Dimitri calms down, smiling brightly between the tears that he attempts to wipe away with the sleeve of his shirt, and allows Sylvain to drag him to the dining table. Claude doesn’t watch him much further than that and decides to engage in his own conversations.

That is, until half an hour later when Claude has finished piling all kinds of food onto his plate and is looking for a place to eat. It’s Felix who locks eyes with him and points at the empty chair beside Dimitri. Claude doesn’t argue with that. He sits down without complains, and when Dimitri shyly reaches for his hand under the table, he gladly grasps it give his partner some sense of comfort.

The food is delicious and to Claude’s surprise, Dimitri eats as well. He doesn’t throw up after a minute or two either, but Claude sees him stare at the two extra settings left at the counter throughout dinner. It’s a small miracle. Now, Claude is just hoping for the big one to arrive as well. And it does, almost two hours later. After lots of heartfelt laughter and jokes, the front door finally, _finally_ opens with the familiar sound of a key being turned in the lock. 

“Hello, everyone. We apologise for being late. We were met with slight difficulties.” Edelgard steps through the doorway, a huge smile on her face. Dorothea isn’t far behind her.

“I hope you don’t mind us joining in on the festivities.”

It doesn’t take long for Dimitri to rise from his seat and embrace his sister, who clings to him just as tightly as he does. They talk to each other in whispers as they stand together in front of the door, holding onto each other tightly. Meanwhile, Dorothea moves on to give the two some space, integrating herself into the crowd.

Claude follows her example and spins back around to continue his conversation with Sylvain and Hubert. Dimitri doesn’t come back to the table until much later. The night goes on and on, and Claude grows more tired by the hour. By the time Claude planned to build the lanterns, he’s fighting to keep his eyes open, listening to Felix explain how he managed to get Glenn to keep his old man company while he’s away.

“Excuse me.” Claude suddenly feels a hand gently grasp his arm and starts awake, looking up to see Dimitri face, graced by beautiful smile. “I will need borrow Claude for just a second.” He lets Dimitri drag him out of the party and into his room. Dimitri heaves a sigh once the door closes, blocking out some of the noise.

“Thank you,” Dimitri breathes, grasping Claude’s hands in his own, “for all of this. It’s silly of me to care this much about a small holiday, but- thank you, Claude.” Dimitri hugs him, arms snaking around Claude’s shoulders as buries his face in the crook of Claude’s neck. “Thank you.”

“It’s not silly, Mitya. I know how much family means to you.” Claude rubs circles into the small of Dimitri’s back until Dimitri decides to let go, taking a step back. He runs a hand through his blonde hair.

“When did you plan all this anyway? I’m assuming you got the idea after Mercedes and Annette were here?”

“While they were here,” Claude corrects teasingly, “I’m just that good. I’m gonna admit though, I didn’t intend to spoil the surprise that I wasn’t going to be with my family for the night that early, but I’m flexible.” 

“I should have known you wouldn’t just accept my decision that easily.” Dimitri shakes his and falls backwards onto the cushions of his bed, using the breathing technique he was taught by his therapist.

“Perhaps you should have. Overwhelmed?” Claude lays down beside him on his side, supporting his head on both arms. Despite being exhausted from the festivities, Dimitri still looks content. But there’s an edge of sorrow to his smile that Claude cannot deny.

“Just a little,” Dimitri whispers, closing his eyes. “I miss them.” Claude doesn’t think that Dimitri will ever not miss his parents on holidays. The same applies to Edelgard. And he’s fine with that. They shouldn’t have to pretend to be happy when they aren’t.

“I know. We can stay here for a bit if you’d like. To calm down. It’s okay if you need a minute.” 

“We have guests.”

“Edelgard and Dorothea can handle them for a while.” Claude fall asleep here now, but that wouldn’t be fair to them either. Yet, he does almost doze off, Dimitri’s rhythmic breathing sounding like a lullaby by to Claude’s ears. “Wanna go build those lanterns?” he asks when he fears that he will no longer be able to keep his eyes open if he lays here for even another second.

“Yeah.”

They manage to pull themselves up once more and into the living room with their friends. Just one more hour, Claude tells himself as Dimitri helps him with his lantern. If this his how Dimitri felt the weeks prior, then Claude understands how he managed to fall asleep literally everywhere. Claude doesn’t want to imagine what it must feel like to be this tired every day.

The night passes quickly from that point onward, at the very least. They put out the lanterns at midnight, exchange gifts and toast, but most of what Claude hears from it is white noise. The only thing that does stand out to him, is his realisation that he never got Dimitri a present. Of all the things to forget, it has to be that one.

“Well, that was a night we’ll never forget, that’s for sure,” Claude says with a hoarse voice after the door closes behind the last of their friends, using one hand to run it through his hair. His head is a bit light from the alcohol and his bones ache from exhaustion. All he wants to do right now is hit the hay.

“And a tiresome one. He’s out like a light.” Dorothea leans on the counter behind her and observes Dimitri who has fallen asleep on the couch a few minutes ago. She stifles a laugh behind the back of her hand when his snores grow louder. Claude is honestly just surprised that isn’t him on the couch right now.

“We should wake him up and get him into bed. He’ll hurt his neck if he sleeps on the couch like that,” Edelgard says as she puts the last of the glasses in the dishwasher. Claude envies the amount of energy has left, or pretends to have after such a day.

“I say we leave that to Claude, Edie. What do you think?”

“Certainly,” Edelgard hums, watching Dorothea walk towards her room. “You go ahead, I’ll be right behind you.”

“Sure, Edie. Good night, Claude.” Dorothea waves before she enters the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Claude has to admit he feels somewhat put on the spot when Edelgard’s piercing gaze turns to him.

“I wanted to thank you.” Claude’s eyes widen against his will. That is a little unexpected. “I know my brother. I know how self-deprecating he can be, how little he can care about himself and his health, and I’m certain you carry your own fair share of heavy burdens. So do I, and I fear that I won’t always be there to support him when he needs it. I can barely even handle myself at times. And I’m…” Edelgard takes a deep breath before she continues.

“You know this isn’t exactly my field of expertise, but I just wanted to say that I’m glad that he has you- that you have each other. I’m sincerely happy that you stumbled into our life Claude.” Edelgard give him something Claude never thought he would ever receive from her. A hug, even if it’s short lived. For the first time in his life, Claude is lost for words.

“Yeah, me too.” It’s the first thing that comes to mind, the truth. There are fancy words to rope around it, or some extravagant speech. Just simple honesty. Edelgard smiles at his answer, so he knows it was the right thing to say.

“Good night, Claude,” she says, picking Aymr up off the ground as she walks towards her room.

“Night, Edelgard.” The door falls shut behind her.

And then he’s alone. Well, perhaps not truly. Dimitri is still in the room with him, although asleep. Claude needs to wake him anyway if he wants to get Dimitri to his room. Thus he walks over to the couch, careful not to fall over Gouda or Areadbhar, and gently shakes Dimitri’s shoulder.

“Hey, Mitya, wake up. It’s time for bed.”

Dimitri wakes slowly, blinking a few time until he realises where he is and slowly hoists himself from the couch. Claude grabs his arm as he leads Dimitri to his bedroom, surprisingly not followed by either of the dogs as they continue to snooze in the living room.

“Wait…,” Dimitri says drowsily once they’re inside his room, freeing himself from Claude’s grasp to pull out something from one of the drawers off his desk and holding the neatly wrapped package out to Claude. “May the stars bless you, beloved.” 

The gift he finds inside the package surprises Claude. It’s a scarf, one with the same kind of patterns he saw at the Star Market the other, Almyran patterns. They aren’t nearly as neat as the one’s at the market, and Claude realises that Dimitri must have made the embroidery it himself. At either ends of the scarf are colorful pom poms, which are considered good luck charms in Almyra.

It looks like the one he lost in a fire in his first month in Fódlan, like the one made by his mother.

“I saw you staring at it when we were at the Star Market the other week. Mercedes helped me make it. I know it’s not an original and that’s it not perfect and-” Claude reaches up to kiss Dimitri, throwing his arms around Dimitri’s shoulders and effectively stopping him in his ramblings.

“I love it,” he breathes out when they part, “thank you, Dimitri.” The fact that he has nothing to give back is even more jarring to him now. “But I don’t have anything for you. I forgot to get you something in my haste to get everything together.” Dimitri shakes his head.

“You have given me the greatest gift of all. Getting to spend this evening with my friends, celebrating with them. And there’s no greater gift in the world than you, Claude. I don’t know what I would do without you sometimes.”

“Do these sentimental speeches on holiday nights run in the family or something?”

“What...?”

“Nothing,” Claude says with a light laugh, “let’s get changed.” Switching clothes doesn’t take long and the next thing he knows, Dimitri is pulling him down onto the bed with him. Dimitri’s arms snake around his waist, pulling Claude’s back to his chest.

“Good night, beloved,” Dimitri whispers, placing lazy kisses on Claude’s neck, just below his hairline. The sensation slowly lulls Claude to sleep. “I love you.”

Claude fights his worn out mind to answer Dimitri with the very same words, but the only thing he manages to do before he finally falls into a peaceful sleep is turning around and place a light kiss on his shoulder.


End file.
